+2.3K in April ;-(

Pretty bad month obviously. Been tilting way too much this month, especially in the 200 and some in the 330s as well. Moreover I only cashed in two FPP sats this month, which is about 1K less than excpectation. I will try to take the FPP tourneys more seriously now.

As always I'm optimistic about getting better with my tilt-problems. I believe self discipline is the only thing that seperates me from becoming a big winner now.
To be able to deal with it I gotta accept that i can't toally controll my feelings, I can only controll my behavior. When I'm losing multiple games vs. the same opponent I want to crush his brain with a baseball bat, and when I downswing more than 500 dollars I tend to get quite frustrated and my stomach get's harder and harder. Thats my feeling, and its hard to change that. I also need to accept that I can't play my A-game when I'm feeling that way. Forcing an A-game when running terrible is just as difficult as playing your "social A-game" in a social setting at school if you have not been sleeping the last 30 hours. It's simply not possible because our brain is working suboptimaly.

So the only way I can become a big winner is to be able to aviod re-matching players when losing and quit the day when I downswing more than 500 dollars. Sounds easy, but its obviously very difficult. Especially quitting the day when down. The anger will stell be there when i go to bed, and probably a bit of it will stell be there the morning after as well. But a night sleep helps alot. The pain by accepting an idividual loss vs an opponent and accepting losing days can't be avoided. A professional player prefer to go to bed in pain and frustration, instead of playing with pain and frustration.
Somtimes quitting is the most profitable move you've made the whole month.

May goal: +6K.

Best, Thomas.

Downswing in the 230, but stell OK april

I had a pretty good run in the 230 turbo early this month, but it didnt take me long to lose it all again. My overall stats in the 230 turbo shows -4300 dollars after 210 games. Statistically its not even close to significant and I believe any winning player could suffer the same result. However i remember how the games have been played out, and i'm quite sure I am indeed a slightly -ev player in the 230 turbo.

I'm obvuously crushing the 100s. So why do I probablay play with -ev in the 230? Is it really that big difference between the 115 and 230?.

I believe the correct answer is that the 230 pool is indeed significantly stronger than the 115 pool, but this skill difference only partly explain why winners in the 115 are losing in the 230. I have noticed that I am tilting a bit more in the 230, because i get pretty upset whenever i lose more than 1K, which happens quite often in the 230, but seldom in the 115. Moreover i'm playing a bit more scared in some spots in the 230. Playing scared at high blinds is a sigificant leak.

So I believe my 230 game will improve in the future when I get more used to the amount of money involed and the swings. Poker is more meaningfull if I try to improve and move up in stakes every year. My goal is to keep doing that until i'm two tabling the 5500 versus some rich donky in some few years.

Sooohh, what else am I doing this days, else than poker.
The last month I've been watching a ton of documentaries on youtube. I'm interested in all extreame true story events. One year ago I saw absolutely every air crash investigation documentary, uncluded NASA disasters and pretty much any other disaster. The last month i've been focusing on serial killers. The 3 sickest is John wayne gacy, Jeff Dahmer, and Ted Bundy. Forget movies about Hannibal Lecter etc. This guys are for real, and what they did is more grusomme than you've ever seen in a fictionalized movie. No one can hold a candle to john wayne gacy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNW4pfeJLb8

Trying to figure out how and why this guys committed this crimes is quite intersting to study.

Good start in april

I have not been playing much so far in april, but i've won pretty much all my games so far, included the 230 turbos. I've said several times that i won't play the 230, but i can't help my self when im running like jesus. And i'm sure i can beat the game. I'll try to give my self a chance in the 230, but its improtant to move down to the safe 115 game if i catch a bad run.
The 115 turbo is going like a clockwork now, and my stats the last 500 games is pretty equal to plowking and bartchalker class. My last 2000 games is also pretty good and consistently, about 4-5% roi. I'll try to push my last 2000 games 115 turbo stats up to at least 7% roi.

I'm up 1.9K so far in april, hope to make at least 6K.

Later, thomas.

March +4K

Well, I'm not overly excited about grinding down a 4K month, but i'll take it. As usual i earned almost all the money by playing 2-man 110 and FPP rakeback. I'm scoring about +5/game in my last 2000 games in the 110 turbo now, and I get about 1 dollar in FPP rakeback every game, so im doing ok by two tabling. But it should be possible to make +10/game in the 110 (thats only 57% win rate). My goal for 2009 is to increase my 110 turbo win rate.

My leaks in march was the useal -1.5K in the 220 turbo. It's really amazing how I can be that many buy ins down against a bunsh of semi-weak players. Its obvious that most of the players there, even serveral of the regulars are totally exploitable. Anyway I'm not going to play the 220 before my total online winnings are so big that losing 5 games in a row against compleate idiots wont affect my total winnings at all. That is sharkscope total profit 100K.

My goal is to destroy april. Nothing less than a +6K month.